Wedding traditions vary greatly depending on who is setting the standard. Many brides feel they are a slave to their mother’s traditions; others feel inhibited by religious doctrine or regional social rituals. When you are dealing with a formidable force like tradition, you need someone with legitimate oomph on your side. Your planner and your officiant can help because they’ve done hundreds of weddings and should be keeping up with current trends. Before you gather anyone’s opinions, know what you might like to do. It’s your day, so gather people around you who will respect your wishes.
One couple felt that Unity Candles were bad (candles blow out or burn up) and Unity Sand projects a false image (sand is not a firm foundation to build on). Their ceremony was under a giant oak tree, so they planted an acorn, using the idea of growing tall and strong to symbolize their marriage. A couple blending Jewish and Christian traditions had me perform their ceremony as a notary rather than as a minister because that way, they would be married by neither a rabbi or a priest. The families stayed calm, focusing on their love and marriage rather than on religious differences. Another couple wanted to incorporate their commitment, vows and rings into one part of the ceremony, so we wrote their ceremony that way. The possibilities go as far as you can dream; you just need someone to help you make it your day, your way!
No matter what you want to do, don’t let someone talk you out of it because “it isn’t traditional.” Play with your ideas until they take shape or fade away. Ask your officiant to help you think through how an idea might be introduced and unfold in your ceremony. It’s your special moment, after all. Make it your own!